If (B)ollywood were a school…

We love movies. Well, most of us do. You can never see the enthusiasm for movies anywhere, the way you get to see in India. There are numerous film industries in India, but let me stress upon the biggest one, Bollywood.

Bollywood has always continued to be the centre point of attraction. The movies, no matter what kind, never fail to leave an impact on us. So, what if Bollywood decides to finally open an academic institution? If it decides to do such a thing, we would have our own desi, nonsensical Hogwarts wannabe. Let’s see what their course will consist of.

SCIENCE
I have come across such incredible theories in Bollywood that will make any genius shoot himself in his knees. Professor Rohit Shetty will be appointed as a physics professor, who’ll be a rebel by defying all the laws of physics in his movies.

Also, new Bollywood curriculum suggests that the leading lady can have a cute baby just by making two unrelated flowers kiss each other. Pollination and intercourse, die a slow and painful death.

GRAMMAR
All the grammar we have learnt till date is waste. Bollywood grammar notes state that the word ‘no’ actually means ‘yes’.

Wren And Martin, make a note of this.

Hence, when a girl refuses the proposal, she is actually accepting it. Sigh, guys would be cursing themselves for not knowing this piece of vital information earlier.

GEOGRAPHY
How many countries exist in the world? Professor Chopra answers, two – India and Switzerland. It is compulsory to teleport from India to Switzerland when in love, else the procedure remains incomplete.

CIVICS
The Bollywood University always maintains a unique status from other universities. The syllabus includes that it is perfectly okay to jump on other people’s vehicles while chasing bad guys (or the one you love).

Also, when a couple dances anywhere in public, you ought to join them and prance around in choreographed moves.

MATHEMATICS
Thank you Madhuri Dixit for teaching us the number line, but that’s old school now. We have the new method for the purpose – the sequel line. Dhoom 3 comes after Dhoom 2, which comes after Dhoom. Sadly, Hrithik Roshan would totally fail in this subject, because hello, Krrish 3 after Krrish?

The school of Bollywood doesn’t include the subject of common sense sadly.

Note : This post is written for us by Prajakta Memane (@TheBitterFly) who blogs at http://franklyboletoh.blogspot.in/ .

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She is one witty lady. It’s always great to read her. Go check her blog out.

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10 comments

  1. That part about flower and procreation was gold dust.
    And then that part about breaking into a choreographed dance sequence…it would be awesome if that started happening.

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